Close

Not a member yet? Register now and get started.

lock and key

Sign in to your account.

Account Login

Forgot your password?

Mikado

Mikado
 

The following two parodies were presented at the Faculty Arts Board, before the Virginia Opera performance of Mikado on Friday, March 23, 2012:

 

To the tune of “Titwillow”

 

Near a tree by the Q bus a cheerleader sat

Chanting Mason, George Mason, George Mason

And I said to her madam do you mean by that

Innovation, ovation, ovation

Is our branding too edgy, perhaps too mercurial

Are you looking for rhyming for entrepreneurial

With a shake of her pompom she urged a demurral

For  Mason, George Mason, George Mason

 

Then she pointed to rankings of schools one should watch

Shouting Mason, George Mason, George Mason

And to global endeavors from Chinese to Scotch

Diversification, fication, fication

Then she pledged twenty thousand right out of the gate

Which came close to doubling the endowment rate

And I heard her request a new football debate

For Mason, George Mason, George Mason

 

Now I feel just as sure as I’m sure that my name

Isn’t Mason, George Mason, George Mason.

It was student experience that boosted her claim

Grade inflation, inflation, inflation

But with critical thinking and more QEP

Plus provostial empowerment and less BOV

We might just live up to our hyperbole

At Mason, George Mason, George Mason.

 

 

To the tune of “Got a Little List”

 

As some day it may happen that a scapegoat must be found

I’ve got a little list, I’ve got a little list

Of academe offenders who might well be taken down

And who never would be missed, who never would be missed.

There’s the job prep crowd who just don’t grasp what higher ed is for

The helicopter parents who don’t even know the score

The sex harassment trainers who so often are a bust

The hounds for salary data who make socialism a must

And all SACS accounting gurus who on degree audits insist

They’d none of them be missed, they’d none of them be missed

 

He’s got em on the list, he’s got em on the list

And they’ll none of them be missed, they’ll none of them be missed.

 

There’s the global-trotting provost who likes all countries all the time

And the Broadside columnist – I’ve got him on my list

And alums who flaunt and give advice but never send a dime

They never would be missed, they never would be missed.

The faculty who like to say morale was never lower

From whom confounding data merely anger them the more

Or the Richmond regulators who raise rules but never pay

Or the repetitious committee-ites who must always have a say

And that singular sonic nemesis, the faculty pianist

I don’t think she’d be missed, I’m sure she’d not be missed.

 

He’s got her on the list, he’s got her on the list;

And I don’t think she’ll be missed, I’m sure she’ll not be missed.

 

There’s the P and T committees that so seldom can agree

And the IT specialist, I’ve got her on the list!

Plus sustainability zealots with their constant greenery

They’d none of them be missed, they’d none of them be missed.

And interfering Visitors who catch us unawares

Like what’s his name, or whosis, or who really ever cares

And Poohbah deans or senators, you  know the reference

The task of filling up the blanks is becoming too intense

But it really doesn’t matter whom you put upon the list

For they’d none of them be missed, they’d none of them be missed.

 

You may put them on the list, you may put em on the list

And they’ll none of them be missed, they’ll none of them be missed